First dates are always full of questions.
Where are you from?
Do you have any siblings?
What do you do on your free time?
And most importantly… what do you do for a living?
For some of us, this question is a game-changer. The other person’s professional title always has an effect on what we think of them.
You can deny it all you want but deep down you know something changes in you when they say “I’m a _______.”
So, what if someone told you they’re an entrepreneur. Would you be impressed that they own their own business? Or would you be hesitant and think entrepreneur translates to “I don’t have a real job?”
Whatever you think, say you continue dating this person. Get past all the superficial conversations, you’re developing feelings, starting to admire the person they are. You think “wow this might be going somewhere” and you begin to feel excited for the potential in this new relationship.
If you’re dating an entrepreneur hopefully you admire their drive, their problem-solving skills, their ambitions to reach their goals and their passion for their work.
You begin to appreciate their profession and might even feel a bit inspired by them.
Before you know it, the potential keeps soaring and soon you have a significant other. You’re more than thrilled and can’t wait to show them off to your family and friends.
Your confidence in the relationship and the person is growing.
Until it doesn’t.
The “honeymoon” faze comes to a halt, and all those things you had appreciated in your entrepreneur significant other have quickly become things you fault them for.
Your significant other works too much. They’re constantly picking up work calls. They’re always thinking of their business. They keep telling you “Babe, only another year of this and then I’ll cut back” but then one year becomes three, then four, then five and soon you start to wonder if they’re present in the relationship at all?
I get it, it’s frustrating. I know exactly how you feel.
I’ve been the entrepreneur significant other.
I know what it’s like to be that person that says “only a little longer, I’ll take a break after a little longer.”
I’ve heard the ultimatum: “Cody we’re broke as a joke, you only have X amount of years until you need to get a regular job.”
I’ve heard my wife’s frustration, and irritations and she has every right to have them.
I can promise you I’ve seen it all, but years later Shannon is still by my side and I know it hasn’t been easy for her.
She knows it takes a lot to build a business, she knows I face a new challenge every day and I have to invest lots of my time and energy into overcoming those challenges.
Being second place for the longest time and waiting for me to fulfill all my promises is no walk in the park. Honestly, dating and definitely marrying an entrepreneur is one of the hardest things.
As I always say: Short-term sacrifices for long-term gains.
Shannon saw that.
All entrepreneurs need a significant other that understands that if they want a relationship that will work and be healthy, the significant other has to be willing to accept second place for some time and allow the entrepreneur to grow their business.
Entrepreneurs have to be with someone that sees there’s a long road ahead, and they’re willing to take the back seat and support their partner in living their life’s purpose.
I won’t say it’s easy as that, there will still be disagreements and fights, but there are things both parties can work through the struggles of being in a relationship with an entrepreneur.
Here are a few that have worked for my wife and I:
1. Both parties need to sit down and hash it all out. The entrepreneur needs to tell their partner what their long-term goals are, what their dreams are and if they want to keep chasing these things after marriage and kids are on the table. The significant other needs to decide if they’re okay with this, are they willing to be second place for some time? Does the lifestyle and goals align?
2. The next one is for the entrepreneur. When you drive to see your significant other, or you drive up to your home with them, learn how to sit in your driveway for a few minutes and think of all the challenges and issues you faced that day. Then leave it there. As soon as that door opens, your priority is your significant other, or eventually your family. Ask them about their day, let them vent to you and make sure you let them know they’re heard.
3. Finally, as you should in any relationship, learn how to read the other person. Know when they really need your time and attention and give it to them! Make small gestures, do things to remind them you love them so you can make them happy and can keep dedicating time to your business.
There will be some really great times but there will also be some really horrible times.
Always remember, you shouldn’t be looking for happiness through another person. You should both be living your life’s purpose individually, and support each other together.
To any entrepreneur, if you find that significant other that is willing to support you on this crazy path? Don’t be stupid, make sure you do everything you can to keep that person in your life.
Take care, comb your hair!
Cody Sperber out.
PS: Check out my YouTube channel for more great training!
PPS: Before I let you go, I wanted to give you my eBook! Download it here!