The Perfect Crime: How Perfection Is Killing Your Real Estate Business and How To Stop It
>From Dave Ludena, Real Estate Rockstar…
I’ve been an entrepreneur, real estate investor and mentor for quite some time now. It’s no secret that this path of has some pitfalls. It’s no surprise that there are external obstacles that can crash a business…
But would it surprise you to know that one of the biggest reasons I have seen real estate investors stumble, fail and quit was due to an internal influence? Would it be even more surprising to know that this business suicide could have been prevented in many cases?
Well, read on, my friend and know that Clever’s got your back.
Perfectionism Is to Blame
This insidious killer is known as “Perfectionism.” Perfectionism is a state of mind and also a personality trait that a lot people have. It literally becomes part of who we are.
Fun fact: Perfectionism is also intrinsically tied to anxiety and depression. I think a better name for it – because of how it affects us in our business success – is “Perfectionist Procrastination Paralysis.”
Anyone feeling me on this?
We like to tell ourselves that it’s okay to be a perfectionist, because ‘Hey, I’m only trying to be the best I can be. I want it to be good.’ The problem is that really we’re saying, ‘If I look perfect, do it perfectly, work perfectly and live perfectly, I can avoid or at least mitigate shame, blame and judgment.”
To be frank, at the root being a perfectionist is really about avoidance behavior. The kicker is that when we avoid dealing with things – that’s about as far from perfect as we can be.
Another facet of it goes into the shame, blame and judgment that we are trying to avoid: “If I make a mistake then I’m NOT awesome.” Uh oh... maybe I’m NOT an amazing person after all.
>Why Do We Think this Way about Perfectionism?
Because we are defining WHO we are by our skill and performance. We associate our worth and self-esteem by our achievements. Ladies and gents, this is such a slippery slope and detrimental to who we need to be… and this will actually be the thing that blocks you from becoming what you WANT to be.
When we derive our validation and self-worth from our achievements, we just went on a Prozac rollercoaster. One day up, the next down...
You had a great call with a seller, have a couple contracts emailed… awesome. You’re king of the world. Then a buyer calls and says they don’t want the deal you thought for sure you had sold. Then a seller calls and says they decided to sell to someone else. Now you start going negative, and you don’t even want to make that next call because you are sure the seller will just cuss you out. And on top of that, your mailing campaign sucked. Guess you’ll save the money and not mail another batch.
Careful… if you let yourself go there, then you don’t want to do the next actions, and pretty soon you will find yourself in a puddle of pity and procrastination.
The other thing that happens when you get into this cycle is you may stop learning. Because if you learn, you feel guilty about not implementing, so you may end up actually giving up.
In speaking to new investors, one of the biggest hang ups is that they are scared to death to make a second call to a seller and make a soft offer. This is because the few times they did, the seller hung up or got offended or simply just said no.
So now they have all these leads that they are afraid to “blow,” and they sit on them for fear of “killing the deal.” Guess what? Michael Jordan missed more shots than he made. And he shot more than anyone during his career. Which means he missed more than any one. He was (and still is) the most perfect basketball player ever (sorry, LeBron, it’s true), but he didn’t let his pursuit for perfection kill his career. He kept shooting.
Do You Need to Be Perfect?
Are you stopping yourself from taking actions because you feel you need to be perfect right now? Give yourself permission to screw up. Everyone had a first day. Nobody started closing deals from the beginning.
Even experienced investors may “lose their mojo” for a bit. It’s okay. Keep doing the actions you know you need to do and the results will catch up.
Here are 5 steps to kick perfectionism in the you-know-where:
- Recognize and acknowledge it. (Just like in AA.)
- Accept that it will take practice and time to reprogram this ingrained hardwired behavior. I admit… I’m still working on this, too.
- Practice being genuinely YOU. Don’t front.
- There is no right or wrong… it is what it is. Put no judgment on it.
- Stop getting wrapped up in the “what if,” which generally involves other’s opinions of you. Look, haters gonna hate. Let it go. The reality is that most people don’t think about you, half of what you think they do.
When you implement this and let it be, you become more free and more comfortable with being YOU.
I believe in the pursuit of perfection, but I realize that I AM NOT PERFECT AND NEVER WILL BE. And the best thing I can do is keep taking those shots. In the end, nobody is really keeping the score… just you.
So give yourself a break, breath and just do it. Hey… that’s a pretty perfect slogan…
The Real Estate Rock star
Talk to Me
Have you realized it’s okay NOT to be perfect? Tell me about it in the comments section below.